Raccoons are Not Picky Eaters   1 comment

ImageWelcome to my inaugural blog… Sex Diary of an Oboist, a tip of the hat to my favorite writer, Colin Wilson, and the second book of his Gerrard Sorme Trilogy: Sex Diary of a Metaphysician… and if my blog will be anything like Colin’s book, the sex… such as it is… will be buried in pages of philosophical conjecture on the nature of human development and – hopefully – outright bizarreness… Sex Diary of a Metaphysician isn’t nearly as good a piece of work in my humble opinion as Ritual in the Dark, set in the London of the 1950s, which begins with the young Gerard Sorme (early 20s), a would-be bohemian constantly being evicted from his rooms meeting the older and avowedly homosexual Austin Nunne at an exhibition; a sort of platonic relationship grows between the two men; Austin is older, cultured, urbane, discreet… Especially discreet, as we gradually discover he’s also a serial killer of prostitutes… There’s this bit about 1/3 -1/2 way through the book where Gerard, having had a touch too much to drink in a gay bar (a gay bar in London in the 1950s… what a concept, right there), is in the back yard thereof, woofing his chips for about 3 pages… Wickedly funny… Well… I thought so, but then I suppose I would.

What’s really amazing to me, and says so much about the relentless dumbing down of our education … system… (“gulag” is a better term) is that Colin wrote this magnum opus when he was 17…

But I digress.

A wind storm came through Victoria about a week ago… blew the garden shed door right off its hinges… I thought I had the door to the garden shed propped into place pursuant to repairs, haven’t quite…er… fixed it yet.. Well, excuse me… The door is very heavy. And damaged. Used to be on the downstairs bedroom. The previous owner of the place, a psychotherapist of some sort, used to use it for Primal Scream Therapy… it was impossible to be in that room with the door closed, but it’s not there any more, being now used to close the garden shed… My twin sister, may she rest in peace, was of the opinion it wasn’t the Primal Scream Therapy made the room so unpleasant, but a guardian spirit whom she named “Harvey” that had been placed there much earlier by some Haida Medicine Man and no-one bothered to tell Harvey his services were no longer required… I was, and am again, using it to fix musical instruments, my means of making a (at the moment very) slender living, and without the door Harvey doesn’t bother me too much .. But anyway.

As I said, the door had blown off, I thought I had it in place, but not well enough and the raccoons got into the garbage shed to sample the toothsome tidbits and succulent morsels inadvertently provided… banana peels and mouldy bread and avocado shells and catfood cans all mixed a la carte with the used pooter powder formerly belonging to my mother’s elderly Siamese cats, whom I inherited, but no longer required by same. They like a pristine box, doncha know…

So this morning I set to cleaning up the mess.. Pursuant to it being garbage day, and trust me: It was worse than it looks.

Sort of like what I’m hoping this blog is going to be.. Except with any luck not quite as repellant; a rich, over-composted melange of conjecture and thought and conspiracy theory and alternative viewpoints and music and musical instrument repair and general geekiness (I play the oboe for pleasure. How geeky is that?) and I very much hope, musical instrument making, furnished by moi.. A failed musician who thinks far too much.. And while it won’t start with a quote from PD Ouspensky from 1907 or Gerrard describing blundering midway into Caradoc Cunningham’s* seduction of the librarian (“I thought I was fast” thought Gerard, if memory serves aright)…

They’ll be in here soon.

And all of it, bizarrely, is intended to revolve around personal development.


Gandalf-the-Grey’s Disaffected Apprentice


* A character in Sex Diary of a Metaphysician closely based on Aliestar Crowley, who also appears in the book.


Posted February 1, 2012 by Capt. Roy Harkness in Uncategorized

One response to “Raccoons are Not Picky Eaters

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  1. RtR – what a marvelous collection of literary references you muster!!

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