A Tall Order   Leave a comment

(Written in my cubicle, on the job, about 4 o’clock in the morning… That Snippet of “Neo” in The Matrix, is me, right now.. Sans, of course, the computer expertise…)

So… where do I want to be, December 31, 2016… ? As I sit in this filthy steel and plexiglass shack, early in the morning of January 19, 2015…

… I’m not sure how long now, I’ve been aware of a certain cadre of rather dubious characters (they were out to get laid.. now they’re just out to make a buck) who like to use handles rather than their real names; monikers such as “Style” and “Mystery” and “Ross” and “David”… And while their motivations are possibly questionable, the genesis certainly isn’t:

One and all, they made the decision to do, whatever it took, to solve their problems.

Thus…  after far too many years of getting nowhere, I too, have decided to do whatever it takes, to solve my problems. And to do it, over the next two years: January 1, 2015 – December 31, 2016.Tall Order 1

I want to make up for lost time. I want to fix the horrible mess I’m in. I want personal power. Bucketloads of it. I want my debt — GONE — the money I let slip through my fingers over the last 10 years, recovered — something in the order of $250,000. I want my lathe, milling machine and table saw rehabilitated and and modified, I want to have trained myself to be an expert machinist, including the use of higher mathematics, CNC equipment and stuff like Autocad. I want the grotty little trailer I’m living in renovated, including converting the carport into an addition, and the grounds around it redone as Japanese gardens. I want to be working regularly as a semi-professional musician, I want Andante bringing in reliably $50,000 – $70,000 / year. I want a homebuilt aircraft, a two-manual harpsichord I made myself, a replica TARDIS garden shed; an oboe d’amour. I want to be a competent guitarist, perhaps that 6 or 7-string electric bass I saw in Long & McQuade recently, acquired and in use.Tall Order 1a

How am I sounding so far? What about that Honda Element? … How about the “Yoda” (my Toyota… so named because it’s small and green and about 900 years old) all pimped up? I want a body like a Hercules, I want to get the casting projects put off for eleven years now, done. And done well… (So much for taking action and being motivated: All it got me was a divorce. Onwards and upwards.)

And I also… want to build up some real heavy-duty perception into the nature of other people, be able to size others up accurately and in a twinkling … and govern myself accordingly… My experience with the remains of my family 2010 – 2012 alone, is ample justification for that.

What to do about… The anger…

Not to mention some real material success…

In short, late in the day, to become the Alpha Male I was never allowed to be.

*   *   *

There’s nothing here I haven’t written about (at least to myself), one way or another over the past 10 years, about 1,000 times at least. What’s come of it? Nothing. At least, it doesn’t feel like anything… But why shouldn’t I have the balls, the money, the chutzpah, the personal power such that…?


The period between January 1, 2015 and December 31, 2016. Where in the Hell do I start? Some people would say “at the beginning” which frequently results in dreary years of tedious psychotherapy with (at best) a dubious outcome. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.Tall Order 2

Others might say “Now” which tends to be more constructive… Meanwhile, what do I put on-line in a blog, that I’m comfortable putting there? Because once it’s there, it’s there forever.

Always when I think of this stuff, it turns into a list of some sort.. In this case, a list of projects.  Here are some of the ideas that have been preoccupying me for years. High time to act on them.

1.    The Personal Development Projects
2.    The Wisdom Project
3.    The Andante Project
4.    The Renovation Projects
5.    The Woodworking Projects
6.    The Metalworking Projects
7.    The Computer Projects
8.    The Social Collapse Preparedness Projects

Get all this done in 2 years? Plus talk about, and work on, other stuff while I’m at it? A Tall Order, indeed…


Posted January 24, 2015 by Capt. Roy Harkness in Uncategorized

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